Welcome the Stranger

“We can’t teach what we don’t know and we can’t lead where we can’t go.”

-Malcolm X

When I tell friends and family that I’m taking a border trip at the beginning of March, there are many responses… Taco Bell? Canada? Minnesota/Wisconsin? And most often it’s just, “WHY?”

The U.S. /Mexico border. This is not a trip that many have the opportunity to take unless they are fleeing one side or the other. This is not a trip that I should say I’m excited to go on and yet I am. I need to educate myself and then, hopefully, others about what I experience, learn and observe.

I will be traveling with 9 other people who are part of a group called ‘Welcome the Stranger’ to Nogales, Arizona and Nogales, Mexico. We will walk from one country to the other and back again. I believe we all have our own personal reasons for being a part of this trip. What weaves us together is our belief in that no matter where we are from, there's more that unites us than separates us.

We will be connecting with a group called the KINO Border Initiative whose vision is “human, just, workable migration between the U.S. and Mexico.” We will also be working with the Sisters of Loretto whose mission is “work for justice and act for peace because the Gospel urges us.” In connecting with these groups, we will work at El Comedor to serve people who are newly deported or possibly gaining nourishment before crossing. We will support No More Deaths by replenishing water stations in the desert. We will witness court proceedings around persons who have crossed into the United States illegally. We will connect with a women’s shelter and visit a sanctuary supporting church.

Maybe some of you reading this are still really stuck on this whole border thing... as something more than an imaginary line drawn through the earth once shared by indigenous peoples. I get stuck, too. I do. And so I seek out information, research and personal stories.

Luckily, one of my friends from Peace Corps-Bangladesh, Reece Jones, is a professor of Geography at the University of Hawai'i and recently released his second book, Violent Borders: Refugees and the right to move (now available on Amazon). This is one book that I plan to read this month in preparation for my trip. Although the research often surrounds what is happening with Syria right now, it also applies to borders worldwide. In it, Reece states, “Borders that are open for corporations, capital and consumer goods but closed for workers and regulators are creating dramatic inequalities in wealth and opportunity within individual countries and at a global scale.”

There are many books that I’m reading in preparation for this trip (see list below) and I’m reflecting on personal connections.

What I know is that I have stared students in the face countless times knowing they are here to reunite with family and/or to flee the danger and poverty that enveloped them elsewhere. I have former students from Ecuador, Guatemala, El Salvador, Honduras, Mexico, and other countries who have crossed the U.S. Border as children. Some have been accompanied by other adults, some by paid coyotes, and others through a range of transportation methods and connections that seem so detailed, yet full of unknowns, and still some with stories that are filled with violence, trafficking, manipulation and shame. 

And, yes, I’m still talking about children. Ages 12-15. I have looked into the eyes of a young boy and known that if he were not in front of me and in the safety of Minnesota that he would be most likely be dead. I have seen chipped teeth on a young girl who tripped over rocks in the middle of the night in the desert. I have read personal poems and stories that reflect experiences and grit that far exceed the author’s age. At the end of the day there's a disconnect. I have travelled with a passport and no further questions about my annual salary or family ties to numerous Mexican and Central American cities while others struggle their whole lives to cross a border to reunite family and seek peace and prosperity.

I’ve heard family members and friends say that my students and their families should just “get in line” in order to migrate north to the U.S. I’ve even heard this on the news and in print. But there is no magical line. In order to come here from developing nations there are many exclusive factors and unique challenges. I’m not skilled in explaining them and thankfully have attended many talks by immigration attorneys and asylum and refugee organizations that I have given me more clarity.

Here are three quick references:

1 - https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/five-myths-about-the-immigration-line/2013/02/01/d30cf73e-6bb8-11e2-bd36-c0fe61a205f6_story.html?utm_term=.e9c0d6ea9b8f

2 - https://www.npr.org/2013/02/27/173056252/is-there-really-a-line-for-immigration

3 - https://www.cnbc.com/2017/02/24/heres-the-myth-about-being-an-undocumented-immigrant-that-drives-me-crazy-commentary.html

The truth is, I have heard so many stories but I still have no idea what my students and their families have gone through. They speak their truth and all I can do is offer my ears to listen and not judge. I can have compassion and try to understand how trauma can affect the ability of a child to learn and thrive, but I'm hoping this trip will help me have a better picture and stronger understanding of the people who are most often demonized.

So I write to work the details out in my head as best I can. I write to ask you, my friends, family, and maybe even the rare stranger who connects to my blog to consider a monetary or physical donation. Here's a list of the organizations and needed items.

Consider dropping off some extras… on my doorstep or work cubicle. Consider sending me cash with a designation for one of the linked organizations so I can deliver it in person. Consider adding my travel group to your prayers and, more importantly, to add the people who need and deserve compassion and peace to your prayers as well.

I will be updating my blog throughout my trip. I fly out on February 28 and return on March 4. I look forward to your comments and questions through this experience via my blog.

Booklist:
Migrant the Journey of the Mexican Worker by José Manuel Mateo
A Land of Hard Edges by Peg Bowden
The Only Road by Alexandra Diaz

Short Films/Documentaries:
An American House
Without Papers
Which Way Home
The Fence
El Bestia (The Beast)

“For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me.’ Then the righteous will answer Him, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You something to drink? And when did we see You a stranger, and invite You in, or naked, and clothe You? When did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?’ The King will answer and say to them, ‘Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me’” (Matthew 25:35-40 NASB)  

The Wall.

Earlier today I had words and thoughts exploding out of my head. I couldn't wait to sit down and write. And now here I am just after 8:30pm at night finally sitting down with a cup of peppermint tea and a box of kleenex for both my super runny nose and the tears that don't seem to stop falling.

The Wall. Today President Trump announced that funding for the Mexico-U.S. border wall will begin. And funding for sanctuary cities will be stopped. The latter is already being challenged as unconstitutional. I posted two articles by Dr. Reece Jones, my good friend, to my FB page and also added the link the the HBO documentary, The Fence.

I see my students. I see those who are here without papers. It is not because they are bad people or because they want to break the law. These beautiful young humans are here because they were running for their lives. I have so much to say, but lack the ability to be coherent anymore today.

The inherent racism that this wall represents is horrifying. How do others not see this? Where is the demand for a wall between U.S. and Canada? This is not for safety. This is not even economic. It is simply a fear tactic and a xenophobic measure that denies our plurality and ignores the value of multiculturalism. I am appalled and so very sad.

The Office

I spent majority of my day in our office. I do kind of love it in here...but I don't love the stack of paperwork that we had let go...for months. I pretty much nailed it today though and even managed to dust some book shelves. I used to buy every single book I read; shunning the library. Then I'd hold onto the books like they helped define me. Well, they kind of do in a way, but then when we moved to England, I was forced to let go. I just couldn't justify keeping boxes and boxes of books. So our stacks are much lighter now and I'm doing a better job of checking books out from the library or borrowing from friends. I'm even getting better about gifting books I do buy to others when they are worth sharing (and most are).

For Christmas, I gave my mom, sister, sister-in-law, and mother-in-law the book, Waking Up White, by Debbie Irving. If you are a white Christian woman who has grown up in the U.S., I highly recommend this book. I think it's great for guys too; I just knew it would be perfect for the women I shared it with. I'm hoping to keep passing it on...but I've already given away my copy to a friend.

I'm going to check out from the office now. I've got an empty Spotted Cow beer in front of me and a pile of laundry waiting for me in my bedroom. Tomorrow beckons. 

Marcus

I woke up today unable to move my neck. I couldn't sleep for a good portion of the night either, so I called the local Massage Envy as I'm a member and got the first available appointment: 10:00am. I was in such pain and I was even worried that the massage would do more harm than good since I didn't know the cause. Granted, I have slept in four different beds in the past week and driven hours and hours with shouting kids in the backseat, so...there's that.
Marcus was a miracle worker. The lactic acid pockets were expelled and I walked out a new woman. Still sore, but not with the pain and immobility as before.
But even more profound than Marcus's great massage work is his story. He served two tours in the armed services and in the latter, his team came upon an IED. It did some major damage and Marcus has been through 25+ surgeries and was "drugged up" by the recommendation of VA. Marcus said he finally realized he had a choice in his life and stopped taking all forms of medications. He found peace in massage therapy as he is able to help others in a one-on-one setting with the calm of dim lights and quiet music to surround him. He says he has an uphill battle, but becoming a massage therapist was life-saving. I couldn't get over the contrasts in his life and how open he was with me about them.
These are the moments for which I am thankful. I am thankful for Marcus. For his service to the U.S.. For his understanding of self. And for the care he offered me mere moments after meeting me.

Welcome 2017

Originally I posted my New Year's resolution here...but I'm editing this post a few months later b/c my resolution to write a blog, no matter how short, every day failed within a week's time. Boo!

Nevertheless, please enjoy our 2016 Schutz Family Holiday Video.

Little Girl, Get Up

Fifteen years ago I was raped. Fifteen years ago almost to the day. I’ve been thinking about writing that first sentence for a long time. Now it’s out. While the U.S. was getting ready to be hit by one of the worst terror attacks, I was on the other side of the world juggling the physical and emotional trauma connected to my own attack in the midst of a visit from my mother and her (our) good friend, Marilyn. And suddenly we were swept away in the chaos of 9/11. Caught up in international borders, stranded in Canada, and finally recovering and seeking intensive therapy in Washington D.C.

I don’t need or want to go through the details now. I just needed to write that first sentence in order to keep moving forward.

I want to tell you that most of the time I want to think being raped was just a blip. It was just a horrible event that couldn’t have affected me that much. After all, it could have been so much worse. I’m lucky that it only happened once and that I wasn’t hurt. People experience so much worse and so I minimize my own experience. It’s true. The phrase “no big deal” pops up in my head when the memory tries to come back or someone asks about it.  While I cannot know others’ experiences, I realize I must be honest that in my own life, being raped was a big deal. It does affect me.

It affects the way I talk to my boys about the words “no” and “stop.” It affects the way I watch interactions between men and women. It affects the way I watch or cannot watch movies. It affects the way I hear jokes or comments that use the word ‘rape.’ It affects my family and friends in that they don’t know how or when it will come back in my head. It affects the way I walk or run alone in broad daylight or in the dark. It affects my need for control. It affects me everyday.

I’ve discovered recently that the PTSD that I experienced from that one event comes back. Suddenly emotions are uncontrollable, concentrating is extremely difficult, and it’s hard to let go and sleep. I didn’t know this could happen. No one told me that the emotional aftermath of an event that I deemed “over and done” could come back so clearly.

What comes up for you? What experiences have affected your life, both positively and negatively?  How do you acknowledge the impact and keep moving forward?

If you’d like to read the story from my mom’s perspective, she has self-published a book that is available on Amazon. Little Girl, Get Up by Rosalie Koehler.

You're Invited

My host family in Mymensingh, Bangladesh during my Peace Corps Pre-service Training

Writing has been on the back burner for me the past couple months. I’m in a new job, I’m taking an online course so I can get a lane change (teacher speak for pay increase), Dave has a million new projects to write for, K1 is adjusting to Spanish Immersion kindergarten, and we still have a little settling in left to do.

Now Thanksgiving is upon us and I’m realizing just how quickly the last few months have passed. Sometimes on my familiar drive home from a Trader Joe’s shopping trip, I wonder if we really lived abroad when it seems like we never left. And then I have moments when share a memory or tell K2 to go get his dummy (pacifier) and I realize that one short year made a lifelong impact.

I usually wait to blog until I have a lesson or thought keeps coming back to me. And yet lately, I feel like I rely so heavily on the words of others to say what I am thinking and feeling. I went to a two-day training last week that was about mindful and culturally responsive facilitation techniques led by the honorable, Lee Mun Wah.  I have been to cultural and racial diversity trainings for years. I seek them out. And this one affected me the most. If you watch the clip that the link above takes you to, you’ll hear Lee Mun Wah say,”What it’s going to require for us to have a multicultural society is to take the time to walk across the room.To go into another neighborhood, to invite another family into our home, and to get to know theirs.”

The word that strikes me here is “invite.” We cannot assume that just because someone hasn’t spoken with us, shared a story with us, or walk with us it is because they don’t want to. Most likely, it is because they have not been invited. During my training, I experienced many profound moments. One of them was at the very end of day two when all of the participants were holding hands in a circle. One Hmong woman stated that she has been teaching in schools for many years, but that day she ate lunch with a white person for the first time. Wow. Just take a minute to think about that. It’s not that she didn’t want to eat with a white woman, it’s that she was never invited. And when you’re never invited, you feel you aren’t welcome. Let that thought rest on your heart for a moment. Who do you eat lunch with? Who do you break bread with and how often is it with someone who comes from a different ethnic, racial, and/or cultural background? Who have you invited to the table? We must take time to share our stories.

My challenge for this holiday season is to invite someone new to the table. Invite him or her to have lunch with you, to come to your house for a meal, or to meet for coffee. If you can, reach beyond your comfort zone and invite someone from a different ethnic, racial, and/or cultural background.

Let’s share our experiences and stories and report back. 

I’m taking the challenge. Will you?

One of many great TED Talks by Lee Mun Wah:

http://tedxtalks.ted.com/video/The-secret-to-changing-the-worl