"Mommy, what IS a home?"

The Dawlish Warren Red Rock

The theme of the past two months is simple: WE DO CRAZY S#!T. Sorry for the profanity, but I don’t think “STUFF” works in this case. We’ve tried to live the last year to the utmost and in the process, have tried out, agreed to, failed and occasionally succeeded at so many new experiences.

We’ve realized that most people who decide to live abroad do so when they are single, when both spouses are teachers and can find employment easily, or when one spouse or both has a profession that facilitates (and pays for) this transition. We don’t fall into any of those categories and it was painfully obvious throughout the year.

The fact that we moved here with only what we could carry was, in itself, a bit insane. I didn’t meet one family the entire year that attempted the same feat. If a family moved, they had a shipment. Of course singles just moved with a few bags, that’s understandable. But, I don’t think we realized the importance of establishing a “home” in a new place so quickly.

One or all of us flew or drove to/from another country every single month except for September. June had international travel for Dave while the rest of us concentrated on finishing up school and packing our bags once again. The countries we hit (in order) during our one year abroad: Germany (Dave), U.S. (the VISA debacle), France (Amanda), France, Belgium, Wales, Spain, France (Amanda), Malta, France, Belgium, Holland, Czech Republic, Wales, Greece (Dave), France, Belgium, Spain (Balearic Islands). You can see we had some favorites.

I’m leaving out the trips Dave took back to the U.S. for work and the 16 hr. trip I took back to check out our new house.

That makes three new countries for Amanda, seven new countries for Dave, six for K1, and eight for K2 since he gets to count England.

What other crazy $#!T have we done?

Well, we bought a house on-line. I’m serious. Dave and I had a few beers on Friday night, checked Trulia for the millionth time, and low and behold a brand new listing caught us by surprise. We knew instantly it was the place for us and the six-hour time difference worked in our favor. Within 24 hours, our realtor had done a walk-through, we got pre-approved, submitted an offer with a very well-written letter (by me), and had Dave’s family take time to visit the property as well. The offer was submitted on a Saturday morning and it was accepted first thing on Sunday. Seriously. Dave’s parents were nervous and didn’t want us to go through with the deal…but it was too late…we were in too deep. I enjoyed Mother’s Day in the air so I could see the property for 1 hour after the inspection was completed to verify that this was indeed the home for us. We closed on June 29^th and now own a home that Dave and I have been in a total of 2 hours between the two of us. Yep, that’s crazy.

What else? Oh yeah, we became reality TV stars by filming our very own episode of House Hunters International. 5 days straight of filming and it was definitely an experience we’ll never forget even if we wanted to. I can’t say much more than that because I signed a non-disclosure, but stay tuned. I’ll let you know when it will air.

Palmanova, Majorca (Mallorca)

For our finale, we decided to forgo the escape to Mexico that we had originally planned for July and, instead, shore up our tricky tax status (we basically needed to stay out of the US for the month of July) in Europe instead. We realized that we can visit Mexico easily from the States, but exploring Great Britain and Europe as a family won’t be possible again for a very, very long time.  Our lease was up at the end of June and we became homeless. Travellers. Gypsies. Call it what you will, but for some reason it sounded okay. Crazy, but okay. We often didn’t know where we would be staying just a few nights before, but we have managed.

  

We spent a week in Majorca where the kids improved their swimming skills, a few nights here and there at random hotels near the Luton Airport and Legoland, Windsor, and five nights in a trailer park on the South shores of Devon, often called the English Riviera.

Dartmouth, UK

Caravan Park, Dawlish

Coleton Fishacre, Devon

First Aid, Legoland, Windsor (but a flesh wound)

And now we are living in a stranger’s big and beautiful Surrey house for two weeks. We can’t believe our luck. We get to hang out with an awesome German Short-haired Pointer named Otis, water some plants, and still explore the area. This was a win-win.

Or at least I thought it was a win until last night after reading Paddington for the 100^th time, K2 responded to the last line by asking, “Mommy, what IS a home?”

Ouch.

We’ve got a day in Iceland planned at the Blue Lagoon during our layover, and then we hope to be settling into our new home the first week in August which is almost exactly one year from the day we left the U.S. Ooooh…I just realized that Iceland adds another country for all of us. We’ve flown through several times, but this will be the first time out and about. Another win!

We’ve made a million mistakes this year, but with each mistake comes a lesson and even better than learning from mistakes is the learning that came from our willingness to try new things. Our kids are amazing and have weathered the changes like pros. It was the most challenging year we’ve ever had in regards to our marriage, our personal and professional goals and routines, and working through changes as a family. No regrets though. I would make the same decision all over again.

We’re definitely ready to settle down and stop living out of suitcases, but that doesn’t mean we’ll stop doing crazy $#!T.

Coleton Fishacre, Devon, U.K.

More Life-Changing Decisions

Stonehenge this past Sunday.

Recently, a friend of mine from way back in my Peace Corps days moved to London.  It has been fun reconnecting. We’ve only seen each other a few times in random New York City sightings over the past 15 years and now here we are both in England. Dave and I broke the news to him a couple weeks ago that we are leaving England at the end of the school year to go back to the states, and he was floored. You see, we had just talked in the beginning December about how hard the transition had been and that we were now having a hard time imagining heading back to the US after just the one year. But, a lot can change in a few weeks. 

My friend also chuckled as he reminded Dave and I how glorious and happy our holiday video card was when, in reality, we’ve had one of the hardest years of our marriage and as a family. He said he loved the video but couldn’t help thinking of all we had just complained about and shared when last we saw him. It’s all there in the blogs. Well, most of it. Fleas in our house, visits to doctors, bank problems, hitting a bicyclist, no social life, stress stemming from a variety of transitional and unforeseen changes and problems... Did I mention a flat tire?, etc. He’s right. It has been a really hard year, and we’re only just over half-way through.

So there’s the bombshell for those of you who haven’t heard. We are, indeed, coming back. Dave loves his job in the Twin Cities and working remotely has been less than ideal. He tends to work U.K. AND U.S. hours and sometimes stays up after I’ve gone to bed just to take a conference call or make sure he has input from a meeting. I feel like he never stops working. Plus, he’s stuck in our house all day, save the random trip to the gym or bike ride, and he hasn’t had the opportunity to make a ton of UK buddies. Okay, I did set him up on one blind man-date and it went well, but they just weren’t ready to make a commitment! ;)

I’ve enjoyed my workplace, but I have to be honest in that I need more of a challenge. I have a caseload of eight wealthy and predominantly white students and they don’t need me in the way my students in the states needed me. I’m used to working with much larger classes of racially and economically diverse students. My passion feels like it has been on hold this year. Plus, I’m used to working with teens and the little ones are cute, but I need more angst!

And to top it all off, K1 and K2 miss their grandparents and other family and friends deeply and I know they are missed right back. I knew this part would be a challenge, but I wasn’t prepared with how difficult it would be to leave our support network when our kids are so young and land in a place where we know no one and hiring a babysitter costs WAY TOO MUCH MONEY. Just the other day, K1 broke down sobbing about how much he misses his grandparents and it was hard to watch. I’ve always been a leaver…someone who has had a relatively easy time picking up and just going somewhere else. But now, I realize and I finally feel deep down just how different it is when a family is involved.

Despite how much of an adventure this has been and how much closer we have grown as a family, I think I’m finally ready to settle down back in the Twin Cities where there is so much to be excited about. I have a new perspective and am greatly appreciative for the family and friends with whom I will soon reunite. I know none of us regret this move in the least.

It’s true, we’ll go back to nothing. No house. No cars. Barely any furniture.  And no idea where K1 will go to Kindergarten.

Oh wait, I didn’t mention the best (and kind of the worst) part. Because of tax reasons and a little thing called the 330-day rule, we need to remain outside of the U.S.A for a total of at least 330 days over the course of one year. Our year started August 3^rd when we landed in England. So…with Dave’s work trips back to the states, this means we will leave England at the end of June, but we will not be able to begin our Midwest dream until August. We need to spend most of the month of July in another country. Where you ask? Why, Mexico of course. My lovely Aunt and Uncle have recently retired there and have graciously invited us to stay. We’ll see how they feel about that invitation at the end of July! So, one more dose of culture-shock before we move back should set us straight for a while. I’m happy we’ll be with family and will feel safe and supported while we are couch surfing for an entire month. How old am I?

So there you have it. It’s all out there. And it feels right. A tricky and logistical nightmare, but right.

Can you find K2 in our Stonehenge selfie?

A Newcomer's Experience with the NHS

Let's be honest. I was a bit afraid of the National Healthcare System (NHS) here when we first arrived. I didn't even formally register with a clinic until November.  I know, bad mom. And you're right if you are thinking that I probably only registered because one of my kids was sick. True. I handed in the paperwork to the clinic and the same day got an appointment for K1. He'd been coughing for a couple weeks and I wanted to get him checked out. That was just before our Thanksgiving trip to Bruges. It is only four weeks later, and I've been back twice. All three times I have been able to get an appointment for one or both kids (and even Dave) the same day I call and everything is FREE. No co-pay, no questionnaire, no photocopy of an insurance card.

Sure, there are trade-offs. You can take a look at the office yourself. 

This is where you stare at the tiny LED screen and wait for your name to scroll across.

This is where you check in and make appointments. 

No bells and whistles. No kids corner with books and games. No comfy chairs or inspirational posters on the wall. Just rows of chairs facing a wall where updates scroll on the LED message board. The first time I came, I didn't know that this is where I'd find our name when it was our turn for an appointment. I panicked that I'd missed our name. No one will call your name out or come find you if your name scrolls by and you don't show up. You hear a quick BEEP and see this "K1 S ... Dr. Lawn... Room 11." 

Then you walk to the doctor's office/room yourself. Knock. And enter. No nurse to check things at the beginning. No waiting more inside after waiting on the outside. You are face to face with the doctor or NP. 

This is inside the doctor's office. Yep, K1 is in his pajamas.
And yep, there's dust all over the place.

In some ways it's a bit off-putting when the doctor doesn't immediately take my child's weight or shine a light in his eyes, but it didn't really bother me. Doctors are not quick to prescribe as I feel some of mine were in the states. If you do need a prescription, it's totally free for children. Adults pay £8 per scrip. Max. 

I chuckled when I opened up the lotion that was prescribed for K1's eczema though. Aveeno. Well, at least it was free! 

I recently asked whether I needed to bring my kids in for annual or semi-annual check-ups. This seemed to be totally up to me and if I want to do so there's a different pediatric centre to checkout. I'm not sure if I'm going to go through the trouble. If we have a problem or question, I can continue to see the doctor we've been seeing. We're figuring it out as we go, but for now the NHS has met our needs and then some. Sure I'm paying a zillion quid in taxes to cover our healthcare, but I am happy with the speed and service that we've received. And again, I didn't have to worry about extra payments at the clinic or for the prescriptions. I'm not sure how I'll feel if something more serious is needed, but let's pray we don't have to worry about that. 

Catching Up: 2 Countries and a Birthday

Nice, France was just what I needed. The educator conference I attended there the weekend before Thanksgiving included a multitude of sessions and keynote speakers, but my favorites centered around service and language. 
One of the most impactful speakers was Mark Cook who started his organization, Hope & Homes for Children.

When Mark retired as a British UN Commander, he decided to dedicate his life to children. Mark shared his journey and how he originally began trying to better orphanages around the world. He saw horrible conditions for children. We watched a short video showing these conditions and I can honestly say that I was quickly moved to tears and almost to the point of vomiting. Horrific conditions so devoid of love for children.

After some time, Mark soon realized that fixing up the exterior and interior of the orphanage didn’t really better the care of the child. Instead, he had what he calls an “epiphany” that he could just get rid countries of orphanages in the first place. He introduced the idea of foster homes in countries like Rwanda, Romania, and Sudan to name a few and was responsible for the closing of hundreds of orphanages across the globe. Here’s a quote from his website, "When we began work in Romania in 1999 there were 100,000 children trapped in institutional care. Today the figure is approximately 9,000 and the Romanian Governments has committed to working with us to close every state run institution by 2020."  

I am in awe of this man. I am so moved by hearing stories from people, like Mark, who a truly making a difference in thousands and thousands of lives.  Utterly inspiring.

And then there’s Bruges, Belgium. Wow. First let me say that we have found many things in the U.K. to be more difficult than we every imagined. Somehow, driving our car onto the Eurotunnel and over to an entirely different country was as easy as pie!

The kids were happy and comfortable and we were excited to drive on the right side of the road for a change. 

After only 36 hours in Bruges, Dave and I decided that we’d like to retire there. Seriously. Kind of. It is an idyllic city that seems to be a cross between Amsterdam and Venice but more laid back than both. The kids loved all the Belgian chocolate treats that were passed out at the Museum of Chocolate and that we felt compelled to purchase simply because of their beauty. We indulged on a boat tour on the canals and a horse-drawn carriage ride through the city the morning of our departure.

I highly recommend this travel spot to any and all. If possible, rent a bike and spend time biking around town and to the nearby village of Damme. Dave and I lucked out and each got a bike ride in while the kids were napping. That how it works when you travel with young kids…you take turns sitting in a dark room while children nap! At least that’s how we do it and it seems to work well.

Please find the rest of our pictures at the end of this post.

And finally, it is K2’s birthday today. 

Our beautiful and bright boy is now 5. He celebrated with 5 friends from school. Each boy was given a cape and mask upon arrival. We then walked to a nearby park and the kids took turns flying through the air on the zipline. It was awesome and nice to do something so simple and easy at home. No bells and whistles, just star-shaped PB & J’s, a park, chocolate cake, and a few minutes of Christmas Kung-fu Panda on Netflix. The sunshine helped the low 40 degree temps feel more like 50 and the whole thing was over and done by 1pm. A win for everyone!

And now for the picture roll...

What am I good at?

Hampton Park Palace

All teachers need to have an after-school duty/activity that they lead or assist at least two afternoons per week until 5pm. I need to do this for two out of three trimesters. After looking at the list of opportunities when I first arrived, I chose to assist with middle school yoga and couldn’t wait for class to begin. Unfortunately, it never did. They didn’t need me after all. 

So then I was tapped to lead Lower School Art Club. Yeah Right. They obviously haven’t seen my version of an art project. The parents would have rebelled in no time when kids started coming home with plates of glitter and yarn. I declined the invitation. So…I ended up without an activity to be a part of for the Fall Trimester. In the grand scheme of things, this worked out well because I have more time to figure out how life works here and juggle kid transportation at the end of the day.

But recently I started stressing again. What activity could I be a part of for the winter and spring trimesters? The activities secretary just emailed and asked if I’d coach cheerleading. Um, NO. It would be fun for about 15 minutes. I learned that from my short stint as a dance coach for EHS.

I proposed a study skills class for struggling learners in the middle school…but there really aren’t too many struggling learners so it was rejected.

As I sat brooding about the options, my co-worker posed the question, “What are you good at?” Huh. I was stumped. What am I good at? Really good at? I don’t sew. I’m not crafty. There’s no sport I’m knowledgeable enough to coach. Kind of depressing.

I came home and posed the question to Dave, “What am I good at?” Funny how I couldn’t think of anything and immediately he responded with “service.” Ding, ding, ding. Yes! I love to serve and volunteer. I love working with people. I love helping. And yes, I think I’m good at it. So…I reached out to the woman who runs the service trips and service learning department and low and behold she’s in need of some help! We met and hit it off right away. Deep exhale of relief and happiness.

I will take on the service learning component for the lower school (elementary), help with the K-12 service learning vision, and international student service learning conference held at TASIS this coming February. I am SO excited. I can do this. I’m good at it.

And finally, the flea update you’ve been waiting for: THE NEW CARPET IS IN!!! The fleas are dead and gone and we can sweep our kitchen floor now without finding cat hair everywhere! Life is good.

Hampton Court Palace

Tour of Britain

Thorpe Park Triathlon (Sprint Distance)

Meal from one of our favorite Indian restaurants. We can walk there AND I can speak Bangla with the servers. Love it.

The cake at the birthday party Kaler attended last weekend. 18 kids. Wow.