"Mommy, what IS a home?"

The Dawlish Warren Red Rock

The theme of the past two months is simple: WE DO CRAZY S#!T. Sorry for the profanity, but I don’t think “STUFF” works in this case. We’ve tried to live the last year to the utmost and in the process, have tried out, agreed to, failed and occasionally succeeded at so many new experiences.

We’ve realized that most people who decide to live abroad do so when they are single, when both spouses are teachers and can find employment easily, or when one spouse or both has a profession that facilitates (and pays for) this transition. We don’t fall into any of those categories and it was painfully obvious throughout the year.

The fact that we moved here with only what we could carry was, in itself, a bit insane. I didn’t meet one family the entire year that attempted the same feat. If a family moved, they had a shipment. Of course singles just moved with a few bags, that’s understandable. But, I don’t think we realized the importance of establishing a “home” in a new place so quickly.

One or all of us flew or drove to/from another country every single month except for September. June had international travel for Dave while the rest of us concentrated on finishing up school and packing our bags once again. The countries we hit (in order) during our one year abroad: Germany (Dave), U.S. (the VISA debacle), France (Amanda), France, Belgium, Wales, Spain, France (Amanda), Malta, France, Belgium, Holland, Czech Republic, Wales, Greece (Dave), France, Belgium, Spain (Balearic Islands). You can see we had some favorites.

I’m leaving out the trips Dave took back to the U.S. for work and the 16 hr. trip I took back to check out our new house.

That makes three new countries for Amanda, seven new countries for Dave, six for K1, and eight for K2 since he gets to count England.

What other crazy $#!T have we done?

Well, we bought a house on-line. I’m serious. Dave and I had a few beers on Friday night, checked Trulia for the millionth time, and low and behold a brand new listing caught us by surprise. We knew instantly it was the place for us and the six-hour time difference worked in our favor. Within 24 hours, our realtor had done a walk-through, we got pre-approved, submitted an offer with a very well-written letter (by me), and had Dave’s family take time to visit the property as well. The offer was submitted on a Saturday morning and it was accepted first thing on Sunday. Seriously. Dave’s parents were nervous and didn’t want us to go through with the deal…but it was too late…we were in too deep. I enjoyed Mother’s Day in the air so I could see the property for 1 hour after the inspection was completed to verify that this was indeed the home for us. We closed on June 29^th and now own a home that Dave and I have been in a total of 2 hours between the two of us. Yep, that’s crazy.

What else? Oh yeah, we became reality TV stars by filming our very own episode of House Hunters International. 5 days straight of filming and it was definitely an experience we’ll never forget even if we wanted to. I can’t say much more than that because I signed a non-disclosure, but stay tuned. I’ll let you know when it will air.

Palmanova, Majorca (Mallorca)

For our finale, we decided to forgo the escape to Mexico that we had originally planned for July and, instead, shore up our tricky tax status (we basically needed to stay out of the US for the month of July) in Europe instead. We realized that we can visit Mexico easily from the States, but exploring Great Britain and Europe as a family won’t be possible again for a very, very long time.  Our lease was up at the end of June and we became homeless. Travellers. Gypsies. Call it what you will, but for some reason it sounded okay. Crazy, but okay. We often didn’t know where we would be staying just a few nights before, but we have managed.

  

We spent a week in Majorca where the kids improved their swimming skills, a few nights here and there at random hotels near the Luton Airport and Legoland, Windsor, and five nights in a trailer park on the South shores of Devon, often called the English Riviera.

Dartmouth, UK

Caravan Park, Dawlish

Coleton Fishacre, Devon

First Aid, Legoland, Windsor (but a flesh wound)

And now we are living in a stranger’s big and beautiful Surrey house for two weeks. We can’t believe our luck. We get to hang out with an awesome German Short-haired Pointer named Otis, water some plants, and still explore the area. This was a win-win.

Or at least I thought it was a win until last night after reading Paddington for the 100^th time, K2 responded to the last line by asking, “Mommy, what IS a home?”

Ouch.

We’ve got a day in Iceland planned at the Blue Lagoon during our layover, and then we hope to be settling into our new home the first week in August which is almost exactly one year from the day we left the U.S. Ooooh…I just realized that Iceland adds another country for all of us. We’ve flown through several times, but this will be the first time out and about. Another win!

We’ve made a million mistakes this year, but with each mistake comes a lesson and even better than learning from mistakes is the learning that came from our willingness to try new things. Our kids are amazing and have weathered the changes like pros. It was the most challenging year we’ve ever had in regards to our marriage, our personal and professional goals and routines, and working through changes as a family. No regrets though. I would make the same decision all over again.

We’re definitely ready to settle down and stop living out of suitcases, but that doesn’t mean we’ll stop doing crazy $#!T.

Coleton Fishacre, Devon, U.K.

A Newcomer's Experience with the NHS

Let's be honest. I was a bit afraid of the National Healthcare System (NHS) here when we first arrived. I didn't even formally register with a clinic until November.  I know, bad mom. And you're right if you are thinking that I probably only registered because one of my kids was sick. True. I handed in the paperwork to the clinic and the same day got an appointment for K1. He'd been coughing for a couple weeks and I wanted to get him checked out. That was just before our Thanksgiving trip to Bruges. It is only four weeks later, and I've been back twice. All three times I have been able to get an appointment for one or both kids (and even Dave) the same day I call and everything is FREE. No co-pay, no questionnaire, no photocopy of an insurance card.

Sure, there are trade-offs. You can take a look at the office yourself. 

This is where you stare at the tiny LED screen and wait for your name to scroll across.

This is where you check in and make appointments. 

No bells and whistles. No kids corner with books and games. No comfy chairs or inspirational posters on the wall. Just rows of chairs facing a wall where updates scroll on the LED message board. The first time I came, I didn't know that this is where I'd find our name when it was our turn for an appointment. I panicked that I'd missed our name. No one will call your name out or come find you if your name scrolls by and you don't show up. You hear a quick BEEP and see this "K1 S ... Dr. Lawn... Room 11." 

Then you walk to the doctor's office/room yourself. Knock. And enter. No nurse to check things at the beginning. No waiting more inside after waiting on the outside. You are face to face with the doctor or NP. 

This is inside the doctor's office. Yep, K1 is in his pajamas.
And yep, there's dust all over the place.

In some ways it's a bit off-putting when the doctor doesn't immediately take my child's weight or shine a light in his eyes, but it didn't really bother me. Doctors are not quick to prescribe as I feel some of mine were in the states. If you do need a prescription, it's totally free for children. Adults pay £8 per scrip. Max. 

I chuckled when I opened up the lotion that was prescribed for K1's eczema though. Aveeno. Well, at least it was free! 

I recently asked whether I needed to bring my kids in for annual or semi-annual check-ups. This seemed to be totally up to me and if I want to do so there's a different pediatric centre to checkout. I'm not sure if I'm going to go through the trouble. If we have a problem or question, I can continue to see the doctor we've been seeing. We're figuring it out as we go, but for now the NHS has met our needs and then some. Sure I'm paying a zillion quid in taxes to cover our healthcare, but I am happy with the speed and service that we've received. And again, I didn't have to worry about extra payments at the clinic or for the prescriptions. I'm not sure how I'll feel if something more serious is needed, but let's pray we don't have to worry about that. 

What am I good at?

Hampton Park Palace

All teachers need to have an after-school duty/activity that they lead or assist at least two afternoons per week until 5pm. I need to do this for two out of three trimesters. After looking at the list of opportunities when I first arrived, I chose to assist with middle school yoga and couldn’t wait for class to begin. Unfortunately, it never did. They didn’t need me after all. 

So then I was tapped to lead Lower School Art Club. Yeah Right. They obviously haven’t seen my version of an art project. The parents would have rebelled in no time when kids started coming home with plates of glitter and yarn. I declined the invitation. So…I ended up without an activity to be a part of for the Fall Trimester. In the grand scheme of things, this worked out well because I have more time to figure out how life works here and juggle kid transportation at the end of the day.

But recently I started stressing again. What activity could I be a part of for the winter and spring trimesters? The activities secretary just emailed and asked if I’d coach cheerleading. Um, NO. It would be fun for about 15 minutes. I learned that from my short stint as a dance coach for EHS.

I proposed a study skills class for struggling learners in the middle school…but there really aren’t too many struggling learners so it was rejected.

As I sat brooding about the options, my co-worker posed the question, “What are you good at?” Huh. I was stumped. What am I good at? Really good at? I don’t sew. I’m not crafty. There’s no sport I’m knowledgeable enough to coach. Kind of depressing.

I came home and posed the question to Dave, “What am I good at?” Funny how I couldn’t think of anything and immediately he responded with “service.” Ding, ding, ding. Yes! I love to serve and volunteer. I love working with people. I love helping. And yes, I think I’m good at it. So…I reached out to the woman who runs the service trips and service learning department and low and behold she’s in need of some help! We met and hit it off right away. Deep exhale of relief and happiness.

I will take on the service learning component for the lower school (elementary), help with the K-12 service learning vision, and international student service learning conference held at TASIS this coming February. I am SO excited. I can do this. I’m good at it.

And finally, the flea update you’ve been waiting for: THE NEW CARPET IS IN!!! The fleas are dead and gone and we can sweep our kitchen floor now without finding cat hair everywhere! Life is good.

Hampton Court Palace

Tour of Britain

Thorpe Park Triathlon (Sprint Distance)

Meal from one of our favorite Indian restaurants. We can walk there AND I can speak Bangla with the servers. Love it.

The cake at the birthday party Kaler attended last weekend. 18 kids. Wow.

A Day of Firsts

Windsor Castle

Today is officially the first day of school for students at TASIS and this includes K1. It's his first day in pre-kindergarten. It’s also my birthday. Yup. Every year I get the fun of pretending that having my birthday in the midst of school chaos with gifts of back to school clothes and back to school ice cream socials en lieu of birthday parties. 

As an adult, I find it’s a hard time of year to plan something special. People are busy. And tired. I am also one of those people. So tonight we sat down to a fancy crock pot dinner of chicken korma that Dave thankfully put together. I added the brown rice once I got home from school with the boys. The best part was the chocolate cake that Dave picked up, but decorated himself! K2 dove in as if it was his first piece of cake ever. His clothes were promptly put in the washing machine.

K1's classroom.
He's on the top floor of a quirky old building.

 

K1's breakfast with dad in TASIS dining hall

This is the wellie room. Please don't put your wellies on the ledge!

We’ve had our first visitor! Molly, Dave’s cousin, came to see us on her way into London for a work this past Sunday. She brought our final suitcase filled with coats and clothing for winter AND Annie's mac n' cheese and Jif crunchy peanut butter. Thank God.

We ventured out to Windsor again. This time we saw the inside of the castle and then picnicked on the green. This upcoming weekend we are excited to see friends of mine from the Peace Corps who are travelling through on their way to a sabbatical year in Spain. We hope to meet at Hampton Court Palace, also a 20 minute drive from us. Love that! 

Dave has finally been able to get out on his bike. Biking is a bit frightening here as there aren't really any shoulders and bike paths are minimal. Still, he's figuring it out. He rode with two of my colleagues' husbands. Sounds like they like having him on board since he pushes them faster than they'd normally go. 

Now let me take you back to school for a moment as I reflect on the changes for my own profession this year. I have to say that I have never felt so welcomed, included, and special by a school or employer before. Sure, TASIS has some money to throw around, but they are intentional about spending it as well as time with their new staff. We have had loads of barbecues with amazing cheeses and wines, an opening banquet with champagne, and even a welcome bag for the new families. The welcoming picnic for students and families had bounce houses and a DJ. I truly feel like I was asked here for a reason and that the school is happy to have me. I already feel appreciated and I haven’t even done anything!

I didn’t get the marching band welcome that Edina has each year, but I didn’t need it. It would have been too loud…I’m still recovering from all that wine and champagne. Truly though, the faculty and staff have gone above and beyond to make me feel at home. 

Finally, what you are all waiting for…an update on the flea issue. Our place was fumigated on Monday and we’re getting new carpet in about two weeks. Our new ikea furniture covers just showed up too, so we’re feeling a lot better. K1’s bites are all scabbed over and slowly disappearing. You can take my word for it. I’ll spare you the photos. Cross your fingers that we are flea free by this time next week.

Stress and Amusement. Repeat.

Tea at the Headmaster's House

The tea.

I’ve broken down… porridge for breakfast on Monday, eggs and beans on toast Tuesday morning, and nutella with peanut butter on demand. I think K2 is the biggest fan of English breakfasts. K1 will barely try the beans. Since we are trying get back to what we consider to be normal, I just resurrected my morning blender routine today. YUM! Banana, today’s berry (raspberry), almond milk, and peanut butter. That and a cup of coffee; I’m feeling great. I’ll have to look for some flax or chia to throw in as well!

K2 had a three hour settling in period with his child minder this past week. K1 was so excited to see other children and new toys that he asked to stay for a few hours as well. SOLD! I had three hours of freedom and my kids were in heaven.

This “settling in” period is very common here with everything from a child minder to a new job to a new house. I like the phrase. That’s what we’re doing…settling in. And we are actually doing it in fast forward. Most Brits are amazed at how quickly we’ve been able to purchase a car and get phone contracts, when we feel like it has taken ages. I think Dave and I just have the desire to feel settled in on all accounts. We need to hang some art, modernize a bit, and establish our routines. This will come. We need to relax and enjoy this process a bit. I think that’s possible. We waffle between stress and amusement daily.

Amusement is going to our first car boot sale Saturday morning and finding a bike for K1, a trike for K2 and Buddha statue (Peace & Tranquility) for the garden. Stress is waiting for a week to get my PIN # for my bank card only to have to have one re-issued. And it seems not much can be done without a PIN # around here!

Amusement is Dave and K1 taking an evening walk to a local pub where Dave can have a pint and K1 can climb on the outdoor climbing structures. Stress is when our Garmin takes us in circles and we can’t NOT follow it. 

Amusement is the new zip line at Gogmore Park behind our house. Dave has romanced it a bit with this video of K1’s first zip line experience.

K's World on a String

The front (street-side) of the house. Stunning, I know.

Stress is finding out that our house has a “slight” flea problem. Gross. Gross. Itchy. Gross. Poor K1 has gotten the bulk of the bites, but we’re dealing with it and our tiny washing and drying machines have worked overtime today. The previous tenants had two cats. Flea infested cats.

 

Our garden.

But…then amusement came when we took our first excursion late this afternoon to Windsor. Only a 20 minute drive and there we were on the Queen’s doorstep. We didn’t go in the castle today; running back and forth on the long walk was all the fun the boys needed. While watching them run, I had that moment I’ve been waiting for. My eyes got a little teary and my heart got squishy. Thankful for the choices we’ve made and energized for many more moments to come.

Windsor

Look closely in the left-hand corner. This was heaven for the boys.